You Can't Move On If You Let All the Lost Souls Pull You Down
by Tailsgfriend
Summary: Ed knew he failed in his past. He couldn't be a good enough son that his father would actually want to stay with. He couldn't protect his poor mother and now his little brother was suffering hell everyday. He was going to fix this mess. It wasn't just a dream it was his life. That damn witch was going to pay for what she did to them. FMA Soul Eater AU Co-Written by HeyMasky


Life was not something to take for granted, that was for sure. Ed had learned that at a very young age along with his brother. He just wished they had realized how important and fragile their own lives were before they had made the biggest mistake of their lives.

It seemed to begin the day their father left them, before that Ed had always seemed to believe that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he had a loving mother, father, and even a little brother, all of which he counted on to play with. The day his father left with seemingly no explanation was the day the spoon became tarnished, though being a child he hadn't quite realized it at first.

Yet it wasn't until he saw the pained look in his mother's eyes that the spoon had been ripped from his mouth. At this point it was blatantly clear that no matter how he looked at this, that spoon would never fit just right in his mouth ever again. Even though his mother attempted to hide it, he was fully aware that the sadness in her was inevitable at this point. With the spoon stripped of all its glory, Ed also stripped the title 'father' from Van Hohenheim. A father wouldn't allow such things to happen to his family. Nor would a father even consider leaving behind his children and lover. For all Ed was concerned, Hohenheim might as well have been dead, anyone who hurt his family was.

The problem in here lied in the fact that his little brother, Alphonse, was holding out hope that their father would return home. Unlike Ed, Al seemed to believe their father would come back for them, that this wasn't a permanent thing, and as a result, he still loved the other. Ed wasn't sure if he wanted Al to catch onto reality or not. One part of him wanted Alphonse to realize and understand his hatred for their father but another part of him - his protective older brother part - wanted Al to remain blissfully ignorant. Maybe if he didn't realize that Hohenheim wasn't coming back then he wouldn't become as sad as their mother, and maybe just maybe Alphonse could hold onto his happiness for a little bit longer than the rest of them could. Ed would do everything in his power to keep a smile on his brother's face, no matter what the cost.

It was hard to believe that a man so powerful - Lord Death's best weapon - just fell off the edge of the earth. Ed wanted to ask his mother why he had left, but he was aware the question would only rip her to shreds even more. The unanswered questions only made his hatred for Hohenheim grow.

It took some time before their mother returned to her normal self, her smiles being complete and finally reaching her eyes… Though, every once in a while as she thought neither Ed or Al were watching her, Ed would notice an almost hollow look in her expression as though what was keeping her complete had been ripped away from her… And now left their beloved mother broken.

For a while, Ed felt helpless, just watching as his mother tried her best to act like her world hadn't fallen apart. By this time, he had taken on the responsibility of being the 'man of the house' even if he was just a young child. He had to, because even someone as strong as his mother needed help, he needed to be strong for her and for Alphonse too.

Ed still remembered the day he actually managed to get her to smile again, one of her true, proud smiles that he had grown to miss. It was the same day he found out he was a weapon. It had been a warm day, one that allowed him and Alphonse to play outside with each other. Of course, the two boys were roughhousing, just messing around like any other children would, though they took care in trying to keep the other from getting hurt. It was during one of their fights when a weird feeling came over him, the feeling was odd, but instead of fighting it, he let it take over and moved along with it. Only after he realized what he had done, and his arm had transformed into a silver gauntlet.

He remembered seeing Al's eyes going wide as saucers when it happened, the boy had been afraid, of course considering Alphonse had never seen someone change forms in front of him, let alone his own brother. In a blink of an eye Al had grabbed onto him, looking over his transformed arm as he called for their mother. Ed could see the worry in his eyes and couldn't help but laugh at the other's innocence; he would even go as far to say it was adorable. Maybe if he looked back on it, that was one of the most memorable moments of his life. The icing on the cake however was when his mother lit up like a firework upon seeing what ability Ed had gained.

Sure, he may have gotten the ability from his no-good demon weapon father, but he had made his mother smile and that's all that mattered. After Al finally calmed down, he found it cool as well and would constantly ask to see him transform again. What was even better about the whole situation was that he had a way to protect his family.

A little over a year later Ed had what, at the time, he believed to be the worst scare of his life. Of course, at first it seemed like any other normal day, he and Al had left the house to go play and were even joined by Winry. That day, they played a little too close to the creek, in which the water had risen after a particularly rainy week, and on that day Al fell in.

To this day he still remembers Al's terrified scream as the ground below him gave out and he fell into the water. He remembered as he and Winry ran along the water's edge, trying to catch up to Al as the current took him. He was too slow though, his younger brother was getting out of his sight as he screamed for Ed to save him.

He felt hopeless at the time, right in front of him his brother was being swept away. Ed knew what was going to happen if he couldn't reach Al, he knew that the other couldn't stay above the water forever, Al had never been a strong swimmer and he was so young. Ed remembered the tears falling down his face as he continued running, screaming for Al. At the time, he truly thought he lost his brother, he thought that he would never get to see Al's smiling face again. That was terrifying enough, to think of a world where there would no longer be an Alphonse, where he would no longer have his bright optimistic baby brother by his side. And no matter which way he viewed it, he knew very well that was not a world he'd want to live in. Nor would it be a world he'd belong in - no matter where he went or what he did, he wanted Al to be by his side even from such of a young age. Seeing his brother in such of a vulnerable space and on the brink of death had only reminded him of his fear.

In that moment he was reminded that no matter what he did, he wouldn't be able to stop his brother. He was powerless. Edward recalled an awful feeling when he realized that he was useless. There was nothing within his control he could do to prevent his brother's apparent death even though that was all that mattered at that very moment.

As luck would have it though, Al didn't die. It seemed like a miracle when Ed finally caught sight of his little brother, arm transformed into a thin silver sword, digging into the earth, keeping him from being taken any further from the stream.

It turned out, both Elric boys had gotten their father's demon blood, and though Ed hated the man for leaving them, he couldn't help being thankful for him at the time, as that same demon blood is what saved Al's life. And when they showed off Al's new ability to their mother, they found her even more proud than before.

Never would he have thought that would be the last miracle he'd see. Life seemed perfect. It was beautiful even. But you know that beautiful things don't last very long in this world. People are sick creatures. They pick the prettiest flowers from the garden thus killing them, and the brother's mom was no exception. Ed just wished that he could have realized that all of this was going to happen.

On a day everything seemed normal, great even. Their mom kissed him and Alphonse both goodbye in the morning, wishing them farewell and good luck with the day. When they came back however, it didn't take a genius for anyone to realize that something was off. The house was pitch black inside but his mother never left the house this dark. She was a cheerful person and she almost always had the lights on.

When they got to the door, Alphonse had latched onto his arm. The grab wasn't a surprise to either because the younger Elric had adopted the habit when he got scared. Ed didn't return the attention physically but he knew that he was still comforting the other by being close. It would have been a lie however if he was to admit that he wasn't as unnerved as Al. He had a strong gut feeling that something wasn't right. However, what wasn't right… he wasn't sure yet. And when he did find out what wasn't right… he wished that he had never found out in the first place.

There was an eerie silence emitting from one of the halls Ed and Al hadn't turned down yet. What was worse was that the only thing lighting up the dark house was a forsaken light down the hall. Even though he failed to realize it at the time, but in hindsight it was obvious that if he didn't follow the ominous lighting then maybe they wouldn't have seen the traumatic sight that awaited them. Yet since they lacked that knowledge, the Elric brothers cautiously took a turn around the hall.

If only they didn't.

Whatever he had originally thought to be the reasoning behind the dark house would have never rivalled the horror that actually caused it. He couldn't even begin to guess what was the worst sight from that night. Laying on the floor was his mother's limp body. However, she was not dead. Instead, her eyes were wide - reflecting the pain and agony she had suffered. For a few moments he could only focus on his mother's face but he managed to draw his eyes away and over to Al's face.

The other's eyes were glued onto the body on the floor. Ed scanned over Al's emotions as best as he could and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was just as traumatized by the sight. There was too many emotions fighting to gain control of his body. He just froze, not being able to process it all. Especially not when he realized there was a thing hovering over his mother's body. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that by the way Al tightened his grip on his arm that he, too, had seen the creature.

The woman stood above Trisha, tendrils like hands coming out of her body. The hands were wrapped around their mom. She was looking down at their mother but when Al let out a yelp, her head shot up, noting their arrival.

Ed watched the creature - a female witch with a wicked grin - as she locked eyes on him. However, he stared in horror as he realized that not only two - instead three - eyes were on him. Placed vertically and almost conveniently in the middle of her forehead was a third eye. It was almost as if the eye peered into his soul, reading his every thought before he could even think it.

He felt so useless and powerless in the situation, just frozen in horror. Ed's eyes were as wide as the moon. He couldn't even find the strength to move a muscle to attack or help his mother. Never in his life had he regretted something more at that point. Maybe if he had gotten there sooner… or maybe if he was older, stronger… then he would have been able to save his mom. But no. He was a child.

A useless, pathetic child with no strength or courage to even lift a finger to save his mom.

He vowed to himself that he'd never be that child again.

As he began to get a grip on things, he finally moved his eyes away from the witch's. The monster let out a giggle and just exited the house. Even though she must have had her reasons, Ed saw no valid ones. If he was older… stronger… better… he would have ran after her. However his legs rejected his request and stayed exactly where they were. He knew at this point Al was basically stunned, the grip being unspeakably tight. Ed wanted to have the strength to assure Alphonse that it would be alright. However he knew that if said that, he'd just be feeding his little brother a mouthful of lies.

It was only after the two boys called a doctor that they found out what happened, she had been cursed by a witch. Granny Pinako, their neighbor and sole caretaker of Winry had come to help, and the boys had overheard what the doctor had told her. Their mother had only a year to live before the curse would kill her. With that in mind, the next year was nothing short of hell. Trisha didn't like to act like she was dying, so she tried to carry on every day with a bright smile. She wanted her boys to be happy… she wanted to give off the image they were the picture perfect family. However, they all knew that picture was slowly ripping.

At night, she'd kiss their foreheads and tell them a brief little story. There was some nights where she assumed the brothers were asleep even though that was far from the truth. Ed remembered all the tears she'd silently shed and how some nights the crying would turn into sobbing. It was all a reminder that Ed was now the man of the house. He wanted to watch over his mother and he wanted to make her okay. He wanted to look at his brother and make him happy. After all, Alphonse was young… too young to be exposed to this kind of thing. He just wanted to keep the other blissfully innocent. He was the man of the house and he couldn't even give Al the family and love he needed and he couldn't give his mom the paradise she deserved. Those days were dark, stained with regrets hidden behind forced laughter. As the end of the year approached, he knew that he would be having to say goodbye to her and her beautiful and soft smile.

And before he knew it, that time came.

The curse had started slowly at first, but then it was like everything all went downhill, or more like dropped off a cliff... Then she was gone, leaving the two brothers to fend for themselves.

Edward couldn't believe this was the life he had now. It started off with four members of his happy little Elric family… then it was three for awhile… and now there was only two. He wasn't going to let the numbers descend anymore. He had a little brother and he wanted to keep him happy.

From that day on, the two brothers had both proclaimed to never let eachother pass on. Now that their mother had done just that, Ed was hungry for answers. He wanted to know who had killed his mom. He wanted to know why… because in his head he couldn't even think of a single reason why someone would want to harm the sweet and innocent Trisha Elric. After countless hours spent studying and asking around with his brother, he caught onto the beginning of an answer he desired.

The culprit behind his mother's death was nobody other than a powerful witch by the name of Truth.

When their mother passed, Ed felt his world fall apart. He was sad, rightfully so, but he also found an overwhelming anger burning inside him. He was pissed at the witch who took his mother's life and made her last year alive a living hell for both her and the young brothers. If it wasn't for the witch, they'd be happy, he'd have his mother to comfort and love them. Now, the only people the Elric brothers had were each other.

Knowing that he was all Alphonse had left, he wanted to be the best big brother he could possibly be but his anger was still fueling him. He wanted revenge on the woman who took their mother away. It was only fair, right? A life for a life. Equivalent exchange.

When he told his brother about his idea, his plan to kill the witch that went by the name Truth, he found himself proud to know Alphonse agreed and wanted to help him with this. Sure, he expected it, his little brother tended to always follow his plans and ideas without question, but it made him happy to know Al would support him along the way. He knew that with both of them working together on this there was no way they could be beaten, they were he Elric brothers, they were practically unstoppable together.

Of course, Ed knew that he would have to get help, which brought him and Al on the doorstep of a woman who claimed to be 'just a housewife'. Izumi Curtis. The two had heard of her from many people and found she was an autonomous weapon, something both rare and powerful.

It took some convincing, as well as a month in a forest outside of Death City, before she finally took them on as her pupils. Their training lasted a year in which they both learned how to be skilled meisters and weapons. During this time they found it was very easy to resonate with each other, their soul wavelengths matching almost perfectly, which made it easier to fight. They never told their teacher that they planned to use the information she was giving them to kill a witch, instead they kept it a secret between themselves as they knew if they admitted to it she may try to talk them out of it. When they finally did kill Truth, they would go back and tell her all about it though, then Ed was sure she would be proud of them.

After some time searching, the two had finally found the witch, Truth, and Ed was filled with courage. He was going to kill her and maybe then some of the pain would disappear. The two were prepared, they had mastered their skills and their soul resonance was strong, nearly perfect. They could do this.

Ed had Al equipped in his sword form, he wanted to be the one that took any damage, if the witch even had a moment to fight back, and keeping Al in his weapon form would save him from any injuries. He didn't think it was possible to be beaten here, he never thought that something could go wrong. As he charged at the witch, who had her back turned, he had full confidence that she was a goner, that they had won.

But just as soon as the feeling of victory came, it was gone, and Ed was sent to the ground with a scream, accidentally letting go of Al as he slid across the ground, pain coursing through his body, all stemming from his leg…Or, as Ed found out as he looked down at himself, where his leg should be. Instead, he saw the appendage across the alley way in which they were fighting in.

He recognized the sound of Al calling for him and when he looked over, he caught sight of his brother transforming out of his sword form to try and run over. Ed wanted to yell at him, call him an idiot for leaving himself vulnerable, but he didn't even have the chance to, as immediately as his brother transformed Al was picked up by black tendril like hands coming from the witch's body, holding the young boy in place as a smirk formed on Truth's face.

"You two are Hohenheim's sons…" The witch marvelled as she kept the tendril like hands holding onto Al, keeping the squirming boy held up in the air. The third eye opened and Ed could see black parasitic looking shadows crawl out from it, roaming across her skin to one of her free hands. Ed didn't know how the witch knew their father, but it only gave more reason for him to hate the man, and as he saw the witch go to open up Al's mouth, Ed tensed and began dragging himself over, clenching his teeth at the pain coming from his left leg as it dragged across the alley's ground. He transformed his right arm into his gauntlet gun form to try and shoot at her, wanting to do anything possible to keep her from hurting Alphonse. He was the older brother, he had to keep Al safe and unharmed, even if that meant putting himself in more danger. He couldn't let his innocent baby brother get hurt because of his stupid idea to get revenge!

Yet, just as he was about to shoot, Truth made a quick slice at him, and right before his eyes his arm was gone, sent falling to the ground. The pain was practically unbearable now and he could hear Al scream as he just collapsed to the ground, unable to do anything more to fight back.

"Both of you are in need of punishment… To think… You believed you stood a chance against me." The witch laughed, now using her free hand to open up Al's mouth, where the parasitic looking shadows entered him. Ed didn't know how long she had ahold of him...But he did remember seeing her drop Al to the ground, where his little brother coughed and vomited, as if his body was trying to expel what she had put into him.

And that witch...That damn witch just walked away! Leaving the two of them there on the cold alley floor as she just smiled and laughed at their misfortune. The Elric brothers who truly thought they could make up for what had been done to their mother.

Ed had suggested this idea, he was the one who brought up trying to get revenge for their mother...And now Al was choking and puking...Barely even alive… All because of him.

It was all his fault.

Over the years he learned that he was the lucky one. He got an arm and leg back, sure it was automail courtesy of the family friends, the Rockbells, but he was fixed. Al on the other hand couldn't be.

His baby brother was cursed. Just like their mother had been except this one didn't seem nearly as kind to him. No, it didn't kill him in a year, honestly, no one could tell them if it was even killing Al at all. Instead it just put him through hell. It wasn't just one thing that happened, no, those damn parasites in Al's body was wreaking a new kind of havoc every single day, sometimes it would be pain, other times it would cause Al to be sick to his stomach, then it cause his poor baby brother not to be able to get a good night's sleep. He had practically become narcoleptic, falling asleep at random times throughout the day and unable to get a wink of rest at night. Then, even when he did get rest… His mind was plagued with nightmares.

Edward knew that Al didn't want him to feel to blame here, his little brother constantly reminded him that they both went along with it, but Ed knew he was at fault. Al would go along with anything he suggested, the kid looked up to him and would follow him anywhere without a question or doubt. Because of this, Al never thought of the risks that came with them fighting Truth. Because of this, Al followed blindly. And because of this, Al was now cursed.

Ed knew he failed in his past. He couldn't be a good enough son that his father would actually want to stay with. He couldn't protect his poor mother and now his little brother was suffering actual hell everyday. He was going to fix this mess. The weapon / meister combo was going to cure his brother. It wasn't just a dream it was his goal. His life. That damned witch wasn't going to kill the last part of his family off again. No, instead Al was going to live everyday happily without having nightmares or passing out.

Even though it was his primary goal, he knew that he also needed to learn how to become stronger so that he could protect the people that he cared about. That's what brought him to the DWMA. The school would make him and his brother be better meisters and weapons and it was going to give them all the info and training they needed to defeat this 'Truth' witch that did nothing but ruin his brother's life and make Ed become the guiltiest person alive.

They were going to do it, Ed wouldn't let himself give up. He would beat the witch and fix their lives.


End file.
